


Still

by Terminallydepraved



Series: Works for Others [31]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: First Time, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 15:06:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15099296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terminallydepraved/pseuds/Terminallydepraved
Summary: Sometimes it takes someone else nearly dying to make you realize the important things.





	Still

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 한국어 available: [Still (Korean Translation)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15666372) by [lucadris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucadris/pseuds/lucadris)



> got another one for you guys! shoutout to barleytea for being the impetus behind this one. i hope yall like it <3

When the gunshot rang out, Gavin’s only thought was that today would be the day he died.

It wasn’t an uncommon feeling for a cop to have. Well, maybe that wasn’t quite right. He rarely felt a situation so thoroughly fucked that death stared him in the eye, but frequency didn’t mean much when it came to a potent feeling like that. A single taste was enough to last a lifetime. Gavin, on the other hand, had tasted it enough to last ten. 

So, when the gun came out of some pocket and found itself aimed at Gavin’s head, he couldn’t say he was unaccustomed to that sickly cold feeling pooling in his stomach. He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t familiar with the deadening fear resting hot and heavy on his tongue. A desperate criminal pulled back the hammer, and Gavin could only stare down the barrel. 

He’d come to terms with dying in some back alley after his first near-death experience. That was just how this job went. 

Gavin Reed stood at the corner of Fourth and Berkley, closed his eyes, and braced himself for the pain and fall. A gunshot rang out—

And Gavin fell to the ground, wrapped in strong, unyielding arms. 

“What the fuck—” he grunted, twisting and turning as a hand yanked the gun from his belt holster. Gavin forced himself onto his back, gaping a little when he realized who had tackled him. RK900 hovered over him protectively, gun in hand and staring down the sights as he fired a full clip into the perp. Left shoulder, right pectoral, leg, leg, multiple to the chest, then head. The burnt scent of gunpowder and old rain tickled Gavin’s nose. The body fell. Something wet soaked through Gavin’s shirt. 

RK900 didn’t lower the gun until a full minute had passed them by, the perp down and staying that way. Cool blue eyes turned to Gavin in one smooth move. Blue flecked the android’s cheek. “Are you alright, Detective Reed?”

Gavin swallowed dryly, looking down at his chest. RK900 had him pinned still, straddled at the hips with his legs carefully positioned to put him in an optimum firing stance that still maintained full cover for Gavin. “Y-Yeah,” he grunted, voice shaky, verging on a croak. He ran his fingers down his jacket, over his uninjured chest, fingers coming away sticky with that… that blue shit. “What is this?”

“Thirium.”

“Wh— The hell is that?” Gavin pressed on his chest, searching for pain. He found nothing. Well, nothing aside from the ache in his side that came from hitting the ground as hard as he had. But no gunshot, no burning, fiery pain from having a hole ripped through his body. He closed his hand into a fist, his breathing growing short. “What… Are you okay?”

RK900 blinked. He stood up, and then Gavin saw it. “I was shot, Detective,” the android reported, his left bicep covered in the blue substance. The white of his jacket didn’t hide an ounce of it. “My body contains a substance that circulates energy and electrical information throughout my body and biocomponents. My blood, so to speak, is what this is. Thirium.”

His… His blood? A piercing white noise buzzed in Gavin’s ears. He stared at the wound, at the blue blood still trickling downwards, dripping to the alley floor. RK900’s LED flashed yellow. His lips moved, no doubt calling the shooting in. 

“—and please send for an ambulance,” RK900 said, looking at Gavin carefully. “An officer was… Detective Reed, are you alright?”

Was he alright? Was he fucking alright? Gavin’s hands curled into fists, his vision blurring with black fog. “I… You… You fucking…” God, it was so hard to speak. Cold air stung the back of his throat, the air too little, coming too fast. A note of panic shot through his veins. “Shot… You fucking… for me…” 

He could have  _ died  _ covering Gavin. 

Those icy blue eyes narrowed. The LED turned red for the barest glimpse of a second. “Please hurry with the ambulance,” RK900 repeated, still on the phone with dispatch. “Officer down. I repeat, there is an officer in need of medical attent—”

Oh, fuck. Fuck, no. He grabbed RK900 by the collar and stared the android in the eye. “Take me the fuck home,” he wheezed, barely getting the words out. His vision was speckled black, nearly blotting out the bot entirely. “No ambulance. Home. Now. Right now.” If anyone saw him like this…

“Detective Reed…” RK900’s LED cycled yellow. His hands rested on Gavin’s shoulders, supporting him when he began to sag. “You need to calm your respiration. You are having a panic attack. The paramedics will be here—”

Gavin yanked on RK900’s shirt as hard as he could. Their foreheads collided painfully, but Gavin didn’t fucking care. “Please,” he wheezed, voice almost gone. “P-Please. Take me... home.”

His hand fell from the fabric, too weak to hold on any longer. Gavin pulled away, covering his mouth with his hands, sucking in the warm air over and over again before he passed out entirely. He collapsed slowly, falling to his knees. In, out, in, out. Fuck, he hadn’t hyperventilated since high school. He’d almost forgotten how much it sucked. And now the entire fucking precinct would see him losing his shit. Once those ambulances came—

Strong hands fell to his shoulders, hoisting him back up before he could finish the thought. Gavin’s hands curled into fists, his watery eyes looking at the android. It probably was judging him. Watching him come to pieces, thinking him so fucking weak and inefficient. He closed his eyes and leaned against RK900’s chest. A hand touched the back of his neck. Warm breath tickled his ear. 

“Alright, Gavin,” the android murmured, carefully easing him into a walk. “I’ll take you home.”

Gavin nearly stopped breathing entirely. Darkness swirled behind his eyes. Relief poured through him, but it wasn’t enough to calm him down just yet. He let the android guide him from the alley and towards his car. Cool metal met his back; RK900 propped him up against the passenger door as he patted at his jacket pockets, no doubt looking for the keys. 

“C-Can you… even… drive?” Gavin choked, hating this so much. He wanted to close his eyes, but he needed to see that he wasn’t alone. 

“I assure you I possess the needed programming required to operate a car,” RK900 recited, finding the keys in his front pants pocket. The car unlocked with a soft click of the fob. “Let me help you inside and into your seatbelt. I’ll take you home.”

And Gavin supposed he did just that. He blinked and the next thing he knew he was inside the car, buckled in and the shitty, dingy city passing by outside the window in grayscale blurs. Gavin tipped himself forward, sitting with his head between his propped up hands. He kept his mouth covered, breathing in his used breath again and again, fighting to control himself before he broke down completely. His stomach churned. His lungs burned. A pressure built and abated behind his scratchy, pricking eyes. 

Somewhere above his head he heard the cool, unshakeable voice of RK900 reporting in to the precinct. Gavin didn’t hear him say why they’d left before the ambulance arrived. He supposed RK900 wasn’t enough of a dick to rat him out at a time like this. 

Small mercies. 

It felt like hours went by before the car finally stopped. Gavin sucked in a breath and lifted his head, seeing the familiar sight of his garage door in front of him. RK900 stepped out of the driver’s seat. Gavin blinked and he was at his side, the door open and his hands reaching to help him out. Gavin batted the hands away, shoving and pushing until he was standing beside the car. His knees shook, but he stood firm. Cool blue eyes scanned him carefully. Gavin just tried to look stronger than he felt. 

“Come on,” Gavin said, latching onto RK900’s sleeve. “Inside. With me. Now.”

RK900 didn’t even make a token protest. He let Gavin drag him to the front door, and he waited patiently as Gavin fumbled for his keys with hands that shook too much to do him any good. The android took them from him once more, fitting the key into the lock in one go. The fucking show off. He opened the door and Gavin pulled him inside after him, ignoring how this was the first time he’d ever let RK900 come home with him. 

They’d been fooling around for weeks, he realized, and this was… this was the first time he’d ever shared any part of his life with the bot. 

The door closed with a soft click. Gavin sucked in a breath, turning around before the android could move off the welcome mat. If that fucking bullet had been… He’d never have gotten the chance to…

Fuck, he was going to hyperventilate again if he kept this up. 

“Detective, you are exhibiting signs of shock. Perhaps we should—”

Gavin covered the android’s mouth with his hand, glaring bitterly at the ground between their feet. RK900’s shoes were speckled with thirium. Some had washed away in the puddles outside, but enough still remained to remind him painfully of what had almost been. What would have been if things had gone just a little differently, if that perp had got off another shot or aimed just a little higher. 

Gavin lifted his eyes and stared into RK900’s. He moved his hand, wrapped it around the back of the android’s neck, and yanked him down for a painful, desperate kiss. 

The smooth, artificial lips didn’t move against his own. It didn’t surprise Gavin as much as it should have; they’d fooled around before, the android sucking him off here and there, but they’d never kissed. Something that intimate didn’t—shouldn’t—have factored into this little arrangement they had, but Gavin couldn’t help himself from doing it anyway. Only… RK900 didn’t know how to kiss. Gavin pulled back just enough to snort weakly. What a surprise. 

“You’re bad at this,” he muttered, avoiding the android’s eyes by looking at the blue stain on his arm. 

“I’ve… never needed to perform an act like this before,” RK900 said slowly. “Detective, are you sure you’re alright?”

Gavin frowned, looking away. He tightened a hand in the front of RK900’s shirt. “I should be asking you that, dumbass,” he muttered, pushing away to drag the android deeper into the house. The place was dark. Off-putting. He let go long enough to turn on a lamp and shuck off his jacket. His hands shook when he scrubbed at his face. That blue blood was fading from his palms. He didn’t have the balls to ask why or how. 

“My left arm is damaged. I will need to seek out repairs and have my thirium supply replenished. None of the damage I suffered today is permanent or particularly life-threatening,” the android told him, rattling it all off like a report as he followed Gavin dutifully through the house. “If it’s my wellbeing you’re worried about, there is no need. Your life is always my priority—”

Gavin stopped at that, his body ramrod straight. He sucked in a painful, tight breath. He couldn’t hear that right now. 

“Detect—”

“Shut up,” Gavin interrupted, shoving open the door to his room. He flicked on the light and stared at the messy bed, the clothes piled on the floor, and the sparse, impersonal stock art he’d bought and hung up to make the room feel lived in. RK900 followed him in. Turning to face him took effort. Gavin did it anyway, needing to see that he was really there to believe that things hadn’t gone the way they probably should have gone. 

In the light of his bedroom, RK900 looked almost untouched. Almost. His face was impassive and his hair perfect. His shirt sat straight on his shoulders, and if it wasn’t for the rip in his sleeve and the blue staining the fabric in waves, you never would guess he’d been shot. Gavin took in a breath, and then another. This was stupid. Why did he want to come here? Why hadn’t he kicked the android out already?

“Let me see it,” Gavin heard himself whisper. “I… I need to see it.”

RK900 looked at him carefully. His brow furrowed. His lips curled into a pensive frown, his confusion compounded by the spiraling yellow LED. When he finally nodded, it was curt. Short. He brought his hands to his throat and began to pull down the zipper. 

Gavin watched intently. “Does it hurt?” 

“No.” RK900 stripped off his shirt. It was stained blue, the bullet hole punching a ragged gash across the thick arm. Ruined. Pale skin seemed all the paler when accented with thirium. Exposed circuitry glistened beneath the artificial skin. Gavin swallowed and tried not to stare. He crossed his arms, knowing he’d fail that too. 

He hated that this was the first time he’d seen RK900 shirtless. He hated it more than he could even comprehend. 

“You can wear some of my clothes,” he muttered, rubbing ruthlessly at the back of his neck for want of something to do. Every nerve in his body felt rubbed raw, achey and stinging and exposed. “Probably won’t fucking fit you, you fucking tree, but it’s better than nothing—”

Gavin let out a startled huff when a large hand wrapped around his wrist. It forced him to look up. To look into cold blue eyes, at that face that was—shit, why was he so close now? 

He saw the kiss coming and he did nothing to stop it. He saw it coming—hell, he felt it coming—like the hammer of a gun cocking back, like a finger on a trigger about to pull down. Gavin stood stock still and let it happen, closing his eyes as RK… as Nines tried for another kiss. The hand around his wrist loosened, holding him but only just. Gavin pretended it was tight. He pretended he didn’t need this as much as he so clearly did. 

The kiss began as chaste. Nines… fuck, RK900 didn’t know how to do it differently. His lips were stiff but growing softer the more Gavin’s moved, his mouth opening up when Gavin made a rough bid with his tongue to pry apart his lips. With his free hand, Gavin gripped Nines’s shoulder. His blue-slicked shoulder that didn’t wince from pain. Did it hurt? Could he feel pain? The fucker probably had no idea what it felt like to fear anything. How else could he just… just fucking dive in front of a bullet like that? 

Even thinking about it was making Gavin itch. He ripped his mouth away, gasping for the breath he couldn't seem to catch. Nines was staring. Still staring, still standing here, watching him with those eyes, worried and—fuck, not worried, he couldn’t— _ shouldn’t _ —worry about someone like Gavin. Gavin sucked in a greedy lungful of air and tore his wrist free from the loose grip. He grabbed Nines by both shoulders instead. He fucking  _ pushed.  _

And RK900—fuck it, fuck it all, _ Nines, _ let him. He fucking let him. The android fell into his bed, all long limbed grace and curious eyes. His LED spun a solid yellow, unsure and lost and just as fucking confused as Gavin was at what they were about to do. This was such a mistake. This was… This was going to be the worst thing Gavin had ever done, and it just made him want it even harder. 

Without thinking, without hesitating, Gavin stripped the shirt from his head and tossed it to the floor. “Take off your fucking pants,” he ordered, though it had to come out in a weak croak. He’d had sex before. Hell, he’d fucked plenty of people. Brought them back to his place too on occasion… but looking at Nines, watching him strip without question… It just made Gavin’s hands shake. It made them shake so hard that he had trouble unbuckling his damn belt. 

This was a stupid idea. One of the stupidest he’d ever had. He finally got the belt buckle to behave, dragging it through the loops and tearing at his fly so fast that he nearly tripped when he managed to shove his jeans down his thighs. He kicked them off, away, falling to his knees atop the mattress. Nines was already naked but for his briefs. Plain, black, utilitarian to the bone, but his body was… His body was strong, muscled, perfect but for the gash in his arm and the slowing trickle of thirium rolling down his thick bicep.

“Nines,” he breathed, climbing on top of him, searching for his lips. “Fuck, Nines. Come here.”

And Nines listened. He laid down on the bed and let Gavin pin him to it, moving his mouth along to the kiss better and better each time. Tangling his fingers in Nines’s hair, Gavin deepened it. He straddled a thick, muscled thigh, rolling his own against the android’s groin. Fuck, he was big. Big and warm and here. 

“Come on,” he groaned, peppering Nines’s face with clumsy, desperate kisses. Those cool blue eyes watched him, curious and concerned and far too present when held up against how raw Gavin felt right now. “Babe, come on. Please. Let me, fuck, let me. I need you.”

“Alright, Gavin,” a voice whispered, soft lips kissing his cheek. Soft yellow light bled through Gavin’s closed eyes. An insistent hardness rose up beneath his thigh, Nines’s body finally reacting. 

Gavin didn’t bother thinking about how Nines had given in to it. He didn’t wonder about the reason why. Why now, why this, why him of all people. He groaned low in his chest, drawing a hand down between them to pull himself from his boxers and then Nines from his briefs. His hand wasn’t quite big enough to wrap around them both, but he made up for it by grinding down hard. He sank his teeth into Nines’s lip. He cried out brokenly when a far bigger hand covered his own, making up the difference for him. 

“Please, please,” he gasped wetly, seeking out Nines’s mouth, drinking in his composure as if it might transfer into him if he only kissed deep enough. Fuck, he didn’t even know what he wanted from him. Why was he begging? It was… God, it was so pathetic of him. He had him in his bed, pliant and willing, but he couldn’t even do more than rut against him like a teenager with a pillow. “Babe, please. God, fuck. You feel so good. Do you feel good?”

The rhythm stuttered. Nines looked at him, eyes wide, LED yellow. “I…” He closed his mouth, looking over Gavin’s shoulder. Avoidance. The hand moved faster. A distraction. 

It was awful how good of a distraction it was. Gavin’s eyes crossed. His tongue felt clumsy when he tried to speak. “Wh-What?” he groaned, yanking on Nines’s hair until he looked at him. “Just fucking say it.”

“I can’t feel any of this,” Nines said reluctantly. “I’ve never reciprocated during intercourse before.”

Gavin felt ice pour into his stomach. It made sense… His breath caught in his throat, his eyes closing tight as he batted away Nines’s hand. “Why not?” he spat, fighting to control himself, to keep from giving into the panic still lingering just over his shoulder. 

Nines shrugged. He shifted a little beneath Gavin, all firm muscle and seemingly wanting flesh. “There was never a need.”

“Can you?” Gavin asked Nines’s collarbones. He sank his teeth into his bottom lip, shaking a little from the effort of hold back. 

A pause. A nod. When Nines was nervous, his jaw twitched. A quirk. A fucking quirk from an android that blurred the lines of what was real and what was just Gavin’s imagination. 

“Then do it,” Gavin ordered, forcing himself to look Nines in the eye. He’d asked more from him than this, even without asking. Taking what he didn’t deserve… but he knew Nines would give it anyway. “If you want to… Fuck. Just do it if you want to. I don’t…” He didn’t want to do this if it was so one-sided. Fisting his hand in the sheets, he tried to hide how he shook. Like Nines was a tool. Like he was just… just fucking expendable. 

Nine stared at him with wide eyes. Intense, piercing, and blue. So fucking blue. Thirium blue bleeding into Gavin’s touch. He closed them, nodded, and suddenly… Suddenly his entire expression changed. When he opened them again, they were half-lidded. The blue was a shade darker, his pupils dilating. His lips parted and his cheeks filled with color. Gavin stared as the pleasure took him over. 

Gavin licked at his lips, barely believing that this was his. Nines’s first taste of lust. Pleasure. Need. 

Ever. 

“Nines,” he whispered, letting out a choked whimper when that hand began to move once more. “Fuck. Nines. God. Do you feel good?”

Instead of replying, Nines just leaned into the pillow beneath his head. He stared up at the ceiling, bucking his hips upwards, chasing his own hand as he brought the both of them off. Muted and soft, his moans echoed in Gavin’s ears. Here. He was fucking here, wanted to be, wanted to get off with him—

Gavin knew he should be embarrassed for losing it to the thought of that. He knew it, on some level even felt it, but the relief of the moment after all of this was too much to resist. He came against Nines’s cock with a groan, burying his face in the crook of the android’s neck as that unceasing hand milked him dry. 

“Nines, oh fuck,  _ fuck,  _ Nines,” he gasped, kissing him clumsily, his hands wandering every inch of him he could touch. “Oh, fuck, babe. So good, you’re so good. Come for me. Let me see it, let me see you come.”

Nines’s eyelids fluttered. Gavin felt his chest vibrate with the low groan that rumbled through the android beneath him. The hand sped up, letting go of Gavin to twist Nines’s hard, flushed cock in quick, furtive strokes. It took a few seconds more before he reached his peak— Gavin kissed him when he finally came, soothing the momentary red back into a content blue. 

The sound of labored breathing filled the room for a good few minutes after that. Gavin rolled onto his side, hitting the mattress in an undignified heap. With one hand he dragged his boxers back over his hips, the room too cold to stay naked for long. With the other, he tossed an arm over his eyes, hiding from the light. His lungs burned. Too much gasping today. Way too much stress. The orgasm helped loosen his muscles, but the dread of it all lingered like a yoke regardless. 

He squeezed his hand into a fist, biting viciously down on his bottom lip. What the fuck had he just done? 

Better yet… What the fuck had Nines just let him do?

The question clawed at him. It tore its way up his throat, battering like bludgeons against the backs of his clenched teeth. “Why did you…” Gavin stopped himself. He bit down so hard on his lip that he tasted copper. This was so fucked up. 

“Why did I what?” Nines asked. His voice had returned to its usual composed state. If Gavin pretended hard enough, he could imagine he heard it shake a little. But that was probably just wishful thinking. 

Gavin swallowed hard. “Why…” Fuck, he couldn’t say it. His throat was too tight. It wouldn’t let him. 

Why him why him why him.

The mattress squeaked a little as Nines rolled onto his shoulder. It dipped; gravity struggled to bring them together, but Gavin just inched away. 

“Don’t you ever jump in front of me again,” Gavin muttered, putting his back to Nines. He shoved his face into the pillow, the picture of don’t-fucking-touch-me. “Ever.”

“Detec— Hm. Gavin.”

Gavin held his breath. He didn’t open his eyes. He made a noise with his throat, some inelegant and dismissive sound. Rude. Raw. Maybe if he just grunted and huffed, Nines would take the hint and shut the fuck up. Drop the topic before one of them said something they’d regret—

“Your life is valuable.”

Too late. 

It was too fucking late. 

The bed shifted. Gavin held still; he closed his eyes as tight as he could when Nines curled up behind him, big and warm and there. Still there, still alive, still here with him. “So what?” he muttered. So fucking what. It was no reason, no fucking excuse. No one would take a bullet for him. No one fucking should—

That big, warm body pressed against his back. A big, warm arm wrapped around his waist. The wounded arm. The one he insisted didn’t hurt. The pillow dented as another head rested just behind his. Artificial breath warmed the back of his neck as Nines sighed. 

“Goodnight, Gavin,” Nines recited quietly, his breath a reminder that he was still there. Still breathing. Still within reach. 

Gavin closed his eyes and said nothing, hating how much he needed to know that.

Dying on the job was something every cop came to terms with in their own way. But letting someone else die for you… 

Well, there was no coming to terms with that. 

Not tonight, at least. 

Definitely not tonight.  

**Author's Note:**

> Woot, another bites the dust and we finally see some relationship progress from these two. i had a lot of fun writing this one and im excited to get my next one out soon too. if yall liked this, consider leaving a comment to let me know! and if you wanna see more of my work, check me out on tumblr (terminallydepraved) or amazon (T.D. Cloud) for the rest of my fandom/original writing. thanks for reading!


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